Don’t you love it when you hear the studies done by those “experts” who say children with divorced parents are mostly well adjusted and will be just fine and won’t really be affected by their parents’ divorce. HA! Divorce affects children for a long, long time. I don’t know when it does not affect them. You would think it might stop affecting them when they become adults, but it is only a whole new set of problems and ESPECIALLY when they have children. I thought I had to go to several places for Christmas when I was young – usually at least 2 on Christmas Eve and 3 on Christmas day and now that I have children it is 5 days of Christmas. Not only that but two birthday parties (which I refuse now to do).
So I am saying this to say if you think divorce only affects the husband and wife – you ARE SO WRONG! So think long and hard before you decide to mess up the lives of your children and grandchildren. Having two parents who stay together and actually love each other is THE BEST thing you can ever do for your children!
I am saying this as a child of divorce. This really isn’t meant to beat up on divorced people, but if you have children and are contemplating divorce I just beg you to think about the life long impact it will have on your children.
Extraordinary Ordinary Life 
8 comments
Comments feed for this article
December 16, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Heidi @ Indy Photography
I love your rants, Gretch. And you’re totally right.
December 16, 2008 at 4:46 pm
klutzymama
I totally agree too. I have been divorced, but am so thankful that we did not have children.
Brian’s parents are divorced and it does still have an effect, even though he’s a grown man…
December 16, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Jason
Most of the kids I worked with at the various at-risk facilities I have worked at come from divorced families. I’m not saying all divorced kids end up as at-risk teens, but I would say 75-90% of at-risk teens come from broken homes. The parents are putting their children at risk before their lives even have a chance to begin. What a waste. But hey, the parents have a right to pursue their happiness, no matter what it costs everyone else.
December 17, 2008 at 8:48 am
Sunnie
I agree with you that divorce is tough on everyone ESPECIALLY the children however, if the adults would be adults and handle things in an adult-like manner they could make it a lot less tramatic on the children. As a divorced mother I can tell you that I decided in the beginning that I had to love my child much much more than I disliked my ex. As a mother it was/is my responsibility to give my child a stable, safe, and loving environment. I decided that I would never bad mouth my child’s father in front of her and I would not allow anyone else to bad mouth him in front of her. We don’t need to burden our children with our adult problems. I know she has not come through all of this without damage but I also know that she has always been my number one priority and she knows she will ALWAYS have a safe place to fall.
*Said child is in highschool, on the honor roll and truly enjoys life; she is a wonderful child……..so I must be doing something right.
December 17, 2008 at 9:03 am
Gretchen
Sunnie,
I do agree with you. I had always said I had a good situation as far as my parents being divorced. And I do know that my parents would have NEVER worked out together. I just can’t stand the experts who give people the false belief that divorce doesn’t really affect the children only their parents.
December 17, 2008 at 9:09 am
Wonderwoman
Your right, it doesn’t matter how old the child is in question (38), we will be affected by their divorce(s) for the rest of our lives!
December 17, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Sonnie
Being a divorced mom, I know first hand how it affects the children. My goal was to stay married forever like my parents (well, until God called Daddy home), but that wasn’t the case. I do know that I could not live or allow my children to live in the atmoshere we were. I am going through a rough time with my daughter (also the youngest) because she does not want to spend the nights/weekends with her dad. She is fine to go out and have fun, but she wants to come home. I am finding that things are being said in front of her about me and my family. Can’t confront him because he won’t admit to it. I agree with the lady who does not talk about her ex in front of the children. I try very hard to keep that a simple rule with my kids and with God’s help, I have been able to do so. Kids have to choose so many times and it is not fair to them. It is our responsibility as the adults not to make life more difficult for them. Thanks!
December 17, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Jason
I (Amanda) love this post Gretchen, as I am a child of a broken home too. My story ends well, and I have made a total change for the better for my family/life. When I married I told Jason that it was for life, we do not even use the “D” word in our house, it is banned. Keep up the great work and preach it sister. Amanda