I am alive for today anyway. Let me explain. A few weeks I ago I went to the eye doctor for my yearly eye appointment. You see I have worn contacts for about 20 years now so I go every year to make sure my prescription has not changed. This year, my eye doctor saw something that he was not sure about. He causually told me what he saw could be nothing or it could indicate an auto immune disorder such as arthritis or a rare spinal disease.
Really, nothing or a rare spinal disease. Now there is something to think about. Of course what do I do? I start crying and came home and hugged my children and prepared myself for my immanent death. Well, I am going to die, but I didn’t really want to die before seeing my children grow up.
You see I am normally a “glass half full” kind of a girl. But if you knew my grandpa and my dad you know that while we are positive people we still prepare for the worst. My motto used to be “expect the best, prepare for the worst”. So I always have a game plan. For instance, I don’t think someone is going to break into my house at night and kill me, but I have 7 different ways to stop this from happening just in case it might. I always have some sort of back up plan in mind. This also could be from growing up Baptist. I love Baptists but you know they pretty much teach you the joy of suffering so I was always prepared to suffer in some way at any moment.
Back to my story, so the eye doctor scheduled me an appointment with this specialist in which I had to wait two weeks to go to. So in two weeks time I have run the many scenarios over in my mind. It did not help that I went home and researched some things that my first eye doctor said. And from what he said I could have had – arthritis, a thyroid condition or cancer.
So you can see how I have been going slightly crazy in my mind the last few weeks. Today was my appointment to see the specialist. I was so excited to get it over with and just know something. I waited about an hour to see the doctor. He kept getting interrupted during my exam with phone calls and such. He finally finished my exam.
He took out his little eye gadget that shows how the eye works. He explained to me what my problem was and how the previous doctor could have thought what he thought and then he told me the solution to my actual problem. Want to hear it?
I must stop wearing my contacts FOREVER. Really, that is it. I just have to go back to being four-eyes (sorry that wasn’t nice was it). Woo hoo! I have this problem with scar tissue and my cornea and it should be fine if I just stop wearing my contacts.
So Ladies and Gentlemen (if there are any gentlemen that read this blog), I will now be sporting my old glasses until I can buy some new ones. One thing these past two weeks have done is it has given me a small glimpse into what people must go through when something goes wrong that they have no control over and that they cannot fix.
I have been a Believer for a long time but my life has been fairly easy. I have had problems, but no great amount of suffering. I can definitely see how one relies on God when they do suffer. I really thought about how my faith would be tested if I were to have something that wasn’t curable and that I could do nothing about. I would be helpless and if I was tested would I come forth as gold?
I hope so, but for now, thank you Lord for the most unbelievable blessings that you have given me in this short life. And thank you that even for today, I am alive.