jon and kate

Tonight I watched the show Jon and Kate Plus 8.  It used to be one of my favorites.  I watched it every Monday night, then I started noticing Kate being a tad harsh in the way that she talked to Jon and I just quick watching it.  Every time she spoke, she talked about their life being about making their kids happy – RED FLAG!  I have read up on Jon and Kate and knew that Kate came from a Christian home.  She had Bible verses up in her old kitchen.  I realize this doesn’t make her a Christian, but I do believe at some point on her website she does claim to be a Christian.

Here is the deal, if you know anything about Christianity and the Bible you should know that the marriage relationship comes FIRST after our relationship with God of course.  Marriage is very difficult.  It is not easy to be self-sacrificing and to love someone above yourself.  This is against our very nature – ask me, I know.  Growing up I never really wanted to be married.  I definitely wanted children and being a born again Christian knew that I would not have children unless I was married.  My parents were divorced and I don’t know that I really saw a picture of marriage from anyone that I knew that made me want to do it.  It sounds bad to say, but I thought that it was a lot of work and not a lot of reward.

Fast forward to my twenties and then I met my husband.  I am so incredibly thankful for him.  Our marriage is a work in progress.  It is a daily decision that we each make to stay committed and to love each other above ourselves.   We could not do this without the grace of God in our lives.

I am saying all of this to say that I grew incredibly sad for Jon and Kate and for their children.  They both kept saying, “as long as our children are happy and healthy” that is what is important – WRONG!  Your marriage is what is important.  I wish I could just implore them to stop everything – the show, the book tour and whatever else – and work on their marriage.   Make their marriage their first priority.  Of course, they both have to be willing to do that in order for it to work.

I just know the difficutly that children have when they have parents who are divorced.  It is not easy.  You feel the ramifications much beyond your childhood.  You feel them in your twenties and in your thirties and I am sure I will find out that you feel them in your forties (although that is a loooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg way off for me, ha).  Just this weekend I am having two birthday parties for my son.  Really, it is for our peace of mind and for me to be able to relax more, but you see what I mean.  My children feel the effect of my parents divorce and they don’t quite know it yet.

Please don’t feel like I am beating up on you if you are divorced or in the process of divorce.  What I am trying to say is that marriage is not easy.  It really is a daily struggle to put someone else above yourself.  It is all about self-sacrificing.  It is giving when you just don’t think you can give anymore.  It is loving when that person is so difficult to love.  I just hope that Jon and Kate each realize that before it is too late.

I am praying for Jon and Kate.  I hope you will too.

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